THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
