she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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