I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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