Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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