That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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