You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Randomize
