I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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