RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize