They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
