All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
My breasts were aching with rage.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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