we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize