I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
