Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
