Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
