Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
