I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
