Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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