I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
