I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
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