is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
