I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
