Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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