We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
