Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize