Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
