You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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