I'm going to rape someone's good day.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
