Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
BRING THE BAGELS
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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