Rock
Scissors
Fuck
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
pray to the hookup gods
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
