Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
