I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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