this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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