just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
