And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
