these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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