Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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