Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
