the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize