I need help removing her.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
