I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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