No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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