my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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