Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
