Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Randomize
