I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
You're a waste of cheezeits
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
