We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
