No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
