Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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