Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
