I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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