Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
