i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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