i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
