This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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