I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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