Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
