I understand why you refuse to be sober now
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
