Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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