Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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