what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
